Duo in Zeldaland
by yorozuyagaren
Summary: Based on a dream I had in which I was Duo Maxwell trapped in a Zelda game, being chased by Captain Hook. In other words, it makes no sense whatsoever.


Garen: This is actually based on a dream that I had a few nights ago.  
  
Lily: Creepy bastard that you are.  
  
Garen: Shut up. You know very well that I have no control over what happens in my dreams.  
  
Lily: rolls eyes Moron. Get on with it.  
  
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Hyrule Castle town was bustling as usual. I hurried through the square, trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. It had something to do with helping Relena pick fabric for her wedding dress, but for some reason all the details had vanished from my head.  
  
A kid with blond hair and a green shirt came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. "Excuse me miss," he said. "But would you tell me where the bomb shop is?"  
  
I looked around to see who he was talking to, since I was fairly sure that I was a guy. Nope, he was talking to me, which either meant that I was even more confused than I thought I was, or he thought I was a girl. I looked down at myself. Everything seemed to be normal. Light colored shirt, black vest, black pants, long blue skirt--  
  
"_Skirt?!_" I squawked. Why on earth was I wearing a skirt?  
  
"Um... miss? The bomb shop?" the kid repeated.  
  
I rubbed my face with my hands. "Okay kid." I said calmly. "I'm a guy. My name is Duo Maxwell. I have no idea why I'm wearing a skirt. The bomb shop is over that way."  
  
"Thank you sir!" the kid said, and trotted away.  
  
"I'm standing in the middle of Hyrule Castle town, wearing my regular clothes, plus a skirt." I muttered. "What the hell is going on here?" I walked towards the temple of time, muttering to myself.  
  
"Duh!" I exclaimed, whacking myself in the head. "You're wearing pants under the thing, just take it off!" I went into the temple courtyard and slipped behind one of the statues. It wasn't like I was getting naked or anything, but someone might come along and get worried. I tried to take of the skirt, but it had somehow managed to weld itself to the waistband of my pants.  
  
"Shit." I tried to think of what girls did with their skirts when they needed to do something that required both legs. Pinned them up probably, only I didn't have any pins. Roll it up then. "Good plan." I told myself, and rolled the hem of the skirt up to my knees. When I looked up, I realized that I wasn't alone. It seemed that there was a whole other part of town behind the temple of time. A waterfront town, with docks and ships and pubs.  
  
"This just keeps getting weirder and weirder." I muttered as I walked down the street. I got several odd looks from the other pedestrians. Most people were slightly confused by my long hair, but with a skirt it was no question. They thought I was a girl. A guy wearing a big red coat and a matching hat came up to me and shoved a pointed finger in my face. No, not a finger. He didn't have one. He had a hook instead.  
  
"I know who you are, Duo Maxwell." he said quietly. "And mark my words, you'll pay."  
  
"Pay for what?" I asked, but he'd disappeared. "Nutso. What was I supposed to be doing again?" I had no idea. So I kept walking down the street. Two girls were selling candy out of baskets. I tried to flirt with them to get them to give me some for free, and they giggled and handed me some. Then they hurried away, whispering. "This is getting annoying." I muttered. "Next line of business is definitely to try and get this skirt off." There was a tailor shop nearby. They might have a pair of scissors I could borrow.  
  
"Excuse me, but could I borrow a pair of scissors for a few seconds?" I asked. The guy behind the counter looked at me like I was nuts and handed me a scissor. I ignored the funny look and turned my attention to the unwanted garment around my waist, and successfully cut the fabric so it looked more like a funny style of belt than a skirt. Then I handed the scissors back to the man and left.  
  
Suddenly I remembered where I'd seen the man in the red coat. I'd stolen some stuff from him nearly a year ago, nearly cost my life. The man liked his stuff too much. I shivered, remembering the creepy look in his eyes when he'd found me rummaging in his dresser. This was to be avoided at all costs.  
  
"Stay away from creepy dude with a hook." I muttered. "Not hard." Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I spun around. A very short, fat, and rather silly looking man with spectacles stood before me.  
  
"You're the one that the captain wants, aren't you?" he asked.  
  
Smee. That was his name. He worked for the hook dude. "Nope, I'm not wanted!" I said quickly and ran.  
  
Straight into Relena.  
  
"Duo!" she said. "Where have you been? You said you'd come help me pick out fabric!" That was it. I was supposed to be helping her pick fabric for her wedding dress. She and Heero were getting married. And she wanted me to wear a suit.  
  
"I.. uh... got lost." I said lamely.  
  
"Well, get in the car. I hope the place is still open."  
  
"Yeah." I muttered. I followed her into the pink limo, wondering what the hell was going on.  
  
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Garen: I never said it made sense.  
  
Lily: You never said it was stupid as all get out either.  
  
Garen: Whatever. Reviews welcome, including flames. I could use a good laugh. 


End file.
